Da Bears

Ouch!  I hurted myself.  Maybe.  Yes?

Well, it's about that time in the football season when once ever four years (if we're lucky) Chicagoans put all our faith in a quarterback that we don't particularly like and pray to Jesus that he can make it through the conference championship game only throwing a couple interceptions and getting sacked less than five times (though I now live in L.A., I will always be a Chicago sports fan).

Four years ago it was Rex Grossman.  And even though his perfectly plucked eyebrows freaked me out a little, I liked the guy.  Was he the greatest quarterback?  Hell no.  But I think that the team (especially the spectacular defense we had that year) and all of Chicago handed him all of their hope and faith and it elevated his game to a place where he was able to make it to the Superbowl.  And that was enough for Chicago.  Well, it was enough for me, at least.  And it was enough for the Bears' owners until Sexy Rexy had an unfortunate follow-up season and his ass got traded.  Ah, so is the life of a Chicago quarterback.

This year, we have Jay I-just-love-getting-sacked Cutler.  I refer to him as Creepy Veneers for obvious reasons.  The most telling tale I've seen about CV was in Green Bay a few weeks back when they were whomping us and there was an injury timeout.  This is a tense time for everyone, a good time to take a few minutes, catch your breath, and chat with teammates.  You know, keep it light.  CV was chatting and laughing with a Packers player, a former teammate on the Broncos.  This is the only time I've seen CV smile and talk to another player, and it wasn't even a current teammate.  I firmly believe this is because everyone on the Bears hates him.  I don't know why they hate him (maybe the scary teeth and the frat-fat jowls?) but they do.

I don't think this year's team wanted CV within ten feet of their hope and faith and they sure as hell didn't give it to him.  You could feel it on the field every week.  And then today, all of a sudden, his knee was hurt.  Even though there was no incident to replay.  CV, I know you don't seem like the brightest crayon in the box, so maybe you didn't know that winning this game meant you would get to play in the Superbowl.  The SUPERBOWL.  That's like going to the World Series in baseball.

I don't wish you injury, Creepy Veneers, but I hope you are actually hurt.  Chicago wants a quarterback they can love.  Right now you are walking (limping) the fine line between dislike and hate.  It looked like you gave up on your team at your home field.  I hope that's not true.

Can we please, please just make Brian Urlacher quarterback next year?  Chicago knows he can do it.