Another Reason Why the World Hates America

Lucky kids.

I've had a subscription to Lucky magazine for more than a few years. It's a more down-to-earth Vogue, but without the interesting interviews. I don't know, it makes me feel more girly getting a fashion magazine every month, and I enjoy imagining myself as the fashionista I clearly am not.

In this month's magazine, I was sent a Lucky kids supplement. You know, in case you're worried your kids will get made fun of if they don't show up to their first day of kindergarten in Dolce & Gabbana. They seriously have Gucci and Burberry ads FOR CHILDREN. It makes me queasy. And really? Like that kid's not hiding that wolf-eared scarf monstrosity in his backback the minute he's out of Mom's sight.

And then, there's the worst headline: "I want my kid's hair color!" Um, it is your kid. You probably gave him/her the color hair they have. Is there really much to be jealous of here? If it's not your hair color, it's probably your significant other's, and really, on what magazine would you ever, ever read: "I want my husband's hair color!"? Because that would just be sad. Almost as sad as Lucky kids.

Note: I wrote this post months ago and somehow forgot to publish it. Since then, another issue of Lucky kids has been included in my subscription. The madness continues.

Golden Globes 2011

Again, I don't care who won any awards. It's all about who won the award of looking best on the red carpet. My picks, starting with two HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Tilda Swinton. I love your style. You march to your own drummer and end up looking fantastic more times than not. This was SO CLOSE. I love the color. And the hair, the hair is dynamic. But I hate, hate, hate the skirt. If this had been paired with pants, it might have been my favorite look of the night.

Evan Rachel Wood. Your makeup looks better than it has in a long time. I think I might even be able to see actual skin on your face, and that is a blessing. The color of your dress is amazing. And it sparkles! And I love sparkles. But then it tries to turn into a bird at the bottom, and I just can't get behind that. It's like performance art for a story about the mermaid that fell in love with a bird or something. If it was all sequins, I would have loved it. Heck, if it had been all green feathers, I probably would've loved it. But I don't care so much for the hybrid.

Okay, so onto the great stuff. Here are my 5 favorites of the evening, in no particular order:

Salma Hayak. I love the gold on the bodice, and I love the black shiny lines on the skirt. This looks regal, like a modern Cleopatra. LOVE.

Nicole Kidman. I love how structured this is. It also strikes me as Egyptian looking. Hmm. Maybe I'm on a Nile kick...
Only about five people on this planet could pull this off, and lord bless us all that one of them chose to actually wear the dress in public.

Sarah Michelle Gellar. And now for the exact opposite of the Nile. This is normally a dress that I don't care for, but add the crazy print and I'm on board. It's so fun. And the hair and makeup are perfect for the look.

Emma Stone. This dress rocks. I love the detail on the shoulders, then the magenta on the side, and the slit that's not vulgar. I know, everyone loved the eagle at the waist. I won't fault her for it, but I don't think it elevated anything. The dress was already good enough on its own.

Charlize Theron. I usually don't like nude dresses. Snore. But this one is just pink enough and so floaty, and then sexy with the slit. This reminds me of a better version Gwyneth Paltrow's Oscar-winner, probably because of the color and the low neck.

Books I Read in 2011

This year I'm going to blog about each book as I finish it, because none of these books is going to get the attention or criticism it deserves. Mostly because my memory is very, very poor.

Rating System:

**** = Amazing, Fantastic, Life-Changing
***   = Excellent & Worth a Read
**     = Not a Complete Waste of Time but I Probably Wouldn't Recommend It
*       = Blech!

And I don't do that half-star nonsense.

Let's just go in the order I read them. I should say "read." A fair number of these were audio books (have I mentioned that I have a long commute?), which is a different experience from reading a book, but not so different that they can't be judged under the same criteria. I try to listen to only unabridged audio books, but sometimes a book was too enticing and only the abridged version was available.

The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen

I loved this book. What can I say? I remember talking to a friend a long time ago and him telling me that Jonathan Franzen received some negative criticism on his previous novel and was all, you just wait and see, my next one is the next great American novel, and he miraculously lived up to his own hype. So, ten years later, I finally got around to checking it out myself, and I would have to agree. It's deeply dark, yet hilarious. Rich, colorful characters. The whole book felt genuine. I love the casting of Diane Weiss and Chris Cooper for HBO's pilot. But I'm not sure about Noah Baumbach. I know he'll capture the darkness, I'm just not sure about the funny, and that's what makes The Corrections special. Best book I read in 2011. ****

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

I've picked this one up a couple of times but never made it through until this year. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's dark, but I think there's a rom com hidden in their somewhere. I'm going to try and dig it out. ***

The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon

Liked the first half of the book, then my interest dwindled. I didn't like the ending, either. It's the same ending that's been done better in other classic novels. **

Room by Emma Donoghue

This started out promising as well, but I really don't get the hype with this one. Yes, it's a good idea. But I don't think the execution was the best. The character inconsistencies are too noticeable to overlook. The suspension of disbelief is too much. Also, I don't know why this story was set in the U.S. I mean, I know we've had terrible kidnapping incidents like the one in the book in the U.S., but the author was clearly not American, made blazingly clear by her word choices. I can't remember specifically, but it was akin to referring to the bathroom as the loo on more than one occasion. I just wish she would've set it in whatever country she's from because it would've been one less thing that rubbed me the wrong way. **

Waiting by Ha Jin

This one is tricky. The writing was solid, but I wasn't whisked away or sucked into the story. But, again, excellent writing. ***

The Love of a Good Woman by Alice Munro

Not as good as last year's favorite Runaway, but Alice Munro is a great writer and these short stories don't disappoint. ***

East of Eden by John Steinbeck

This was not as good as I'd expected. I loved The Grapes of Wrath and this one didn't hold up. Lots of very unnatural sounding conversations. Don't think Steinbeck would've made a good screenwriter. **

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion (audio book)

Hmmm. I expected to cry and did not, which was probably good as I was driving. Maybe my focus was in the wrong place, but I just kept being pulled from the emotional center of this book from the author's name dropping. Hotel name dropping. I think I have a problem: my empathy runs thin for wealthy people. Or maybe my empathy runs thin for wealthy people who talk about having no money on their honeymoon and then saying eff it and going to the Beverly Hills Hotel. Um. And. No. That is not what not having money is. And then later living in the Beverly Wilshire for months at a time (this time it was acknowledged that there was money). Maybe if I didn't live in L.A. and know where and how much these hotels are. But, why all the hotel name dropping? And why did these small details emphasizing privelidge comletely push me away from the story? Death is death. Sickness is sickness. But my empathy isn't empathy. **

Divisadero by Michael Ondaatje (audio book)

So I was reading this book about these three characters, and I was wrapped up in it, and then it got all cliffhangery and we went to a different set of characters who were a snore and... wait for it... never went back to the original characters. When it comes to books & movies, I try to know as little as possible before experiencing. I change channels to avoid trailers, I don't read reviews. I don't read the backs of books before checking them out. Halfway through this book I read the back cover because I was confused on who this book was supposed to be about. And, wouldn't you know, the back cover described the first, interesting storyline, never to be resolved. So I wasn't crazy after all. *

The Rug Merchant by Meg Mullins (audio book)

Meg Mullins is excellent with dialogue. I wonder how many screenplays she written. If she hasn't written any, she should. ***

When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris (audio book)

Perhaps not his best collection, but thoroughly enjoyable as always. And I love that he reads his own book. **

On Beauty by Zadie Smith (audio book)

Zadie Smith might just be my new favorite writer. Can't wait to read White Teeth. What a great voice. This one was another dysfunctional family saga, much like The Corrections, but funnier and not as dark. Which did not translate into a lighter read/listen. ****

A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon (audio book - abridged)

I loved The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time, so I decided to settle for the abridged version of this. It has the trademark Mark Haddon humor. Didn't find the lead character as sympathetic as I would've liked to. But I suppose that added to the humor. Also, I don't know what was cut out, but this didn't feel abridged. So, good job, whoever edited this. But I'm not going to rate it due to the abridgement.

The Devil in the White City by Eric Larson (audio book - abridged)

This one, on the other hand, felt abridged. Mostly because it was really good and I wanted more. A serial killer against the amazing backdrop of the World's Fair. And a true story! Come on? This would be a movie if it wasn't so expensive to make. It made me miss Chicago and realize how little I know about a city I lived in for four years. No rating due to abridgement.

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri (audio book)

An amazing collection of short stories. It's been months since I finished it, and the last line of the last story still haunts me. ****

The Magician's Assistant by Ann Patchett (audio book)

Not as good as Bel Canto, but a solid read. My only gripe is that I don't think Ann Patchett is very good at endings. She has rich characters, interesting plots, and then comes time for the ending and...yeah. Bel Canto's ending felt completely rushed and tacked on to me. TMA fared slightly better but it still felt too sudden. Amazing how a slightly-off ending can change your entire opinion about a book. ***

I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron (audio book)

Nora Ephron is my screenwriting hero and she could read the doodles on her napkin and I would think it was funny.***

2012 Resolutions

New year, new list. Perhaps a little less ambitious than last year.

* Write a 2 BROKE GIRLS spec.
* Finish first draft of outlined sitcom pilot.
* Polish THE RIGHT REASONS and TEN SECONDS.
* Finish first drafts of two new screenplays.
* Apply to Nickelodeon, Warner Bros, Tracking B, & Nicholl Contests/ Fellowships.
* Train for and run a 10K.
* Eat at 10 new (for me) acclaimed restaurants.
* Blog an average of twice per week.
* Read 12 books (at least).
* Quit biting my nails. REALLY.

Cheers to 2012!

And Onto Other Things

Okay, so my big plan for November was to write a novel, or at least get deep into a first draft of one.

Well, that didn't happen. As usual, I'm full of excuses, but I don't feel like this has been a failure. My job is still long hours. My commute is still awful, and seems to grow a little worse every day. But my creativity, well I'm feeling a little better about it.

I started strong. I was really going to write those 50,000 words. And after my second writing session I had an idea for a screenplay. So I dropped the novel and wrote the screenplay instead.

No, not exactly.

I'm still percolating on this screenplay idea. It's a thriller and I usually write comedy, so I find this interesting in the same way that I thought trying to write 50,000 words in 30 days was a good idea. But the point is that trying to write the novel opened something in my brain and I came up with this idea that will eventually turn into something grand. I just know it.

And I'm not done with the novel. I'm just done for now. I actually really loved the adaptation process. I didn't have to think so terribly hard as to create a new world since I had the screenplay written, I just had to reimagine the telling a of a world I already created. Extremely challenging, and the few days I did work on it just left me wanting longer stretches of time to work on it. I know during my next break from unemployment, I'm going to crank out that first draft and it's going to feel great.

I wonder if I'll end up writing the novel before this new screenplay. We shall see. Another new project added to my internal To Do list.

A New Challenge

I haven't been blogging much lately. I started a job in August that requires long hours and a substantial commute. It's been draining. I haven't been writing. At all. I even have a sit com pilot outlined, an idea that I like, but I just don't have the taste for it right now. I don't feel funny. Most of the time, I just feel tired.

So I'm going to participate in NaNoWriMo. Yes, I'm going to try and write a novel in 30 days. A little crazy, but I'm going to adapt a screenplay I wrote around this time last year, so I have a pretty solid outline working for me. I think it will help free my mind and make me use my creativity in a different way than I'm used to, hopefully expanding my skills. And I don't have to be funny in the same way I do when writing dialogue that's supposed to make people laugh out loud, and that is a relief. I've written 3 pages, although in novel writing pages don't count like screenplay pages. It's all about the words. 832 down, 49,168 to go.

I love the idea of so much creative energy going towards the same place at the same time. Good luck to everyone participating!

An A-Lister Who Loves Organic Tacos

Living in L.A. for more than a few years, I've run into a few celebrities. It happens, we all live in the same town. And I'm not talking about movie screenings with Q&A panels, those don't count. I'm talking about random run-ins in the produce section, hearing famous voices while buying fluffy towels, and spying one of my favorite musical artists at the best strip club in Los Angeles.

I don't get all star-struck about celebrities. They're just normal people who happen to have a lot more money than me. Kind of like all of my bosses. So, I try to make a point about not being an a-hole, and if I see anyone, I give myself one long look, take a satisfied breath of enjoyment at the surreal moment of someone larger than life all of a sudden being so much smaller than myself (literally, most celebrities are tiny), and then be on my way, letting them try to live their lives as normally as possible.

My first celebrity was a little lame. I'd been in L.A. for about a week and was scoping out towels at Bed Bath and Beyond when I heard a familiar voice around the corner. Who is that? I took a peep. Oh, it's just John Tesh. I was more embarrassed that I knew John Tesh's voice than excited about seeing him. I think it was from all of the gymnastics competitions I watched as a child.

My local Whole Foods has been a good spot. I've seen Wayne Knight (Seinfeld's Newman), Mario Lopez (he is very short, no taller than me) and Sarah Chalke (who is very thin and pretty without a drop of makeup).

At Trader Joe's there was a very tall man in front of me in line. He looked average with a hint of creepiness, and, oddly, familiar. He smiled with unbleached teeth, and just when I started to doubt my celebrity radar, he started chatting with the cashier about how Rainn Wilson gave him his hat. Ah, it was Creed from The Office. Also at Trader Joe's, I've seen Kevin McKidd loading groceries into his car with his parents. Adorable.

While serving jury duty, I was on my way to the courtroom when a very tall (at least 6'4") Jon Voight stepped into the crowded elevator. Even celebrities have to serve jury duty! This was right after he and daughter Angelina Jolie went through a very public falling out. There was that nervous hush that comes when everyone wants to ask the same thing all at the same time, but no one has the courage to.

When Conan O'Brien was being courted to take over Jay Leno's job, I saw him on the Universal Lot and I couldn't help but smile at him. And he smiled back and got into his completely unassuming car. I love you Conan!

One Sunday Hubs and I had a Glee day. We went hiking and passed Jane Lynch. She has great skin, beautiful. Then we went to brunch at Hugo's and saw Chris Colfer, who looks exactly like Kurt.

Also at Hugo's, I once sat at a table next to James Cromwell who was reading a script. Part of me still regrets not gushing to him how he played such a great bad guy in my favorite movie, L.A. Confidential. But I'm sure he appreciated that I let him eat his lunch and read in peace.

Perhaps my most unexpected sighting was at Jumbo's Clown Room, an awesomely divey faux strip club in Hollwood, where girls just wanna have fun while dancing in their underwear. It's a fun time for all (except if you're a dude expecting full on nudity, as was the case with one person at my table, and he did not stop whining about it all night). We were sitting up in the back (the place is small) and I recognized the swallow tattoo on P!nk's shoulder before I saw her face. She was sitting in the front row with her husband and it turned out to be her birthday. I love her music, her voice, and now I like her even more.

A couple years later, Hubs and I were walking into our favorite sushi restaurant when I saw a cute, short-haired blonde sitting outside waiting. It looked like P!nk, but there was no way this place would make P!nk wait for a table. I went and checked in. Sure enough, P!nk's name was on the waiting list. And now I love my sushi place even more because if you don't have a reservation, it doesn't matter who you are, you're going to have to wait.

As previously mentioned, Hugo's Restaurant is a celebrity goldmine, but, really, their taco stand across the street? Yes, yes, and yes. One day I walked over for lunch and a really scruffy Sam Trammell from True Blood was there. And as I moved over to pick up my food, Melissa Gilbert was seated at the nearest table. But last night, I had my favorite celebrity siting yet, courtesy of Hugo's Tacos.

As we crossed the street, we passed the pick-up window. I was yammering on about something pointless and as we stepped up to order, Hubs said vaguely, "Is that someone sitting there?" After a brief scan and seeing no one, he said, "Nevermind. I don't think so." As we started ordering, a number was called and Hubs nodded at the pick-up window. I looked over. A chiseled nose poked out as a tall figure in an enormous, black, down-filled coat pulled a hood over his head. Much like Jared Leto and his ridiculous trapper hat, it is never, ever cold enough in L.A. for a huge black snow coat. Unlike Jared Leto, this guy was clearly trying to hide. I stared at the hooded man. Is it him? I mean, why else would he be hiding in the giant hood? And then he turned, coming directly towards me, locking eyes as I stared at his face. Yes, it was him. And Ryan Gosling was looking back at me with his steely Ryan Gosling eyes, probably wishing I would die, because, really if you're going to wear a hood that big and people like me who usually make an effort not to gawk at celebrities was hard-core gawking, what hope does he have?

He drives a big SUV (disappointing) and his eyes weren't nearly as blue as I expected, but I think that can be blamed on the terrible Hugo's lighting. However, the good outweighs the bad. He actually looks better in person. Yeah, I know, how is that even possible? He looks younger than he does on screen. I don't know how old he is, but I would've guessed max 25. So...props for looking so young and healthy, as if he needs it.

I'm sure these aren't all the celebrities I've seen, but they're the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

Oh, and speaking of Ryan Gosling, I just saw Drive and I kind of loved it. Go see it.