PERSUASION by Jane Austen

A book review.

So many cousins, so little time.

There are probably thirty characters in the book divided among about four last names: siblings, cousins, parents, love interests. It was hard to tell characters apart, and they all blurred together for me.

I read "Persuasion" hoping for some inspiration for a coming-of-age comedy, and I suppose it served its purpose; I have a few vague ideas for a script I may write somewhere down the line. But not a lot happened in this book of significant length. I can see why there aren't twenty film adaptations of this one (though IMDB does list four).

As per usual, there's a nice love story, but it's fairly simple and the characters aren't terribly compelling. I found the lead character's two siblings to be more interesting than she. I wasn't excitedly reaching for the book everyday, so it took me an embarrassingly long time to get through it. I remember enjoying "Sense and Sensibility" much more.**

Rating System:

**** = Amazing, Fantastic, Life-Changing
*** = Excellent & Worth a Read
** = Not a Complete Waste of Time but I Probably Wouldn't Recommend It
* = Blech!

And I don't do that half star nonsense.

Beginning, Middle, End

As a writer, my strengths lie in dialogue, characters, and theme. I've never been particularly good at, or fond of, structure. But I know that structure is a necessary, necessary evil. There must be a beginning, a middle, and an end. The middle should be longer than the beginning and end. That's about all the thought I put into structure during my screenplay's first draft, and I always end up where I want to in terms of page count.

I recently watched Meek's Cutoff, a film about pioneers travelling the Oregon Trail. The film looks beautiful, makeup and wardrobe are fantastic. The sound design is spectacular, an eternal wagon wheel squeak effectively conveys the misery that this journey held for everyone seeking a better life out West. For that alone, this film might be worth watching.

What was most surprising was that Meek's Cutoff didn't have a beginning, middle, and end. It only had a middle, which makes for an odd, unfulfilling movie experience.

MILD SPOILERS

At the beginning of Meek's Cutoff, we learn from an etching that our travelling party of eight used to be larger, but we don't know when the other members died or how. Those who have fallen are never mentioned. The remaining group has already realized that their leader, Mr. Meek, has no clue where he's going, so the slow, burning realization moment is non-existent. We're just travelling with the settlers, dum-de-dum.

A couple interesting plot points occur, but it's all just middle-of-the-road stuff. The settlers are miserable and scared. The level of misery and terror doesn't significantly change during the movie, though it does build, slightly. And then it comes time for everyone to make a final choice. We don't know what choice is made because the movie ends.

I'm all for ambiguous endings. The Handmaid's Tale is one of my favorite books. But I think ambiguous endings need to be executed exceedingly well. Remember all the theatre groans at the end of Inception? Didn't quite work, and I felt the same way about Meek's Cutoff. We ended the same place that we started. Yes, the journey was effective, but we didn't go anywhere.

"Current" Political Dramas

If only the script had been edited this heavily.

Political Animals and The Newsroom, two dramas currently airing that are rooted in the recent past.

Okay, pilots are difficult. I try my hardest not to judge a show by its pilot. But I won't be watching any more episodes of Political Animals, so I'm going to judge.

PA revolves around a female Secretary of State whose ex-husband used to be President...but she's from Illinois. Okay, phew. For a minute there, I thought this idea was a smidge biographical.

Besides a small lacking in originality, PA breaks my number one screenwriting commandment: show, don't tell. In the first scene, the Secretery of State to-be gives a televised speech as a Presidential candidate. Each of her family members steps onto the stage one at a time, and a reporter reads us a bio. This felt like a trip down the lazy river waterslide of screenwriting. In the next scene the SoS's mother refers to one of her grandsons as a "homo" which blew what could've been a fun reveal later on. PA spells everything out for us before we meet anyone, and the few reveals later on are lame.

Also, all of the scenes feel too long. So much dialogue without saying anything. Ugh. In the only enjoyable part of the show, the SoS gets out politicked by her ex-hubby, which was a nice twist. However, this satisfaction is short-lived as she promptly gives a feminist pep talk inspired by elephants. I love elephants, but this was offensive.

Looks like we both feel the same way about the show.

I made it through two episodes of The Newsroom before deciding that my time could be better spent doing just about anything, including daydreaming.

Wait, what? We're going to go back in time and Newsroom is going to tell me how the news should have been reported? Are you freaking kidding me? I don't need anyone preaching to me, even if I'm in the choir.

The two female characters are both the same character: Crazy. The same kind of emotionally unbalanced, insecure, I-need-a-man crazy. No, thank you. I can't even start on the romance they are setting up with Alison Pill. It's unbearable. (I know Olivia Munn is in the show as well, but being that she was in one scene in the 2nd episode and then referred to as Victoria Secret and then vehemently defended for her Ivy League degree, I'm already bored).

The Newsroom also suffers from a lack of show, don't tell. In the first two episodes we see Jeff Daniels have a public outburst that makes him quite likeable. Then we hear a bunch of characters saying how unlikeable he is. And then more and more negative mumblings and Emily Mortimer bending over backwards trying to verbally convince everyone he's not a dick. 6ty78ui76yt5rf4e34er5 t6wq2s5werfcgtvl,uiliu8vybhbhtrs. Hello! Sorry, I just fell asleep on my keyboard for a moment.

Arguing over whether or not someone is a dick is not compelling television. And, at this point, all we have seen of Jeff Daniels is him being refreshingly honest. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, but I'm more inclined to feel how I've been shown how to feel rather than how I've been told how to feel.

In The Social Network, we know exactly how we're supposed to feel about Mark Zuckerberg from the first scene. We know he's smart, we know he's dickish and angry. Nobody needs to tell us a thing about him, he already showed us in a fun, riveting verbal whirlwind. I wish The Newsroom had been executed more along the same lines. While the show definitely has the verbal whirlwind going on, the breezes come from all directions, seemingly not knowing which direction to blow.

Savages - Fill in the Blank

Slight SPOILERS if you haven't seen the film.

Savages could have used more __________.

1. Blake Lively doing something. Anything.
2. Emile Hirsch. Why are you even in this movie?
3. Dia de Los Muertos masks. Seriously, I just love the way they look, so cool.

Savages could have used less __________.

1. Voiceover. It's not terrible, but at times it's overwrought.
2. Obvious violence. I like my violence to be more of a surprise. On the plus side, you always have a good five second warning that something bad is going to happen so you can close your eyes if you want.
3. Endings. One is enough. Commit and go with it, no need for half-assed consolation endings.

The Best Sandwich in L.A.

My favorite sandwich in L.A. is the Doner at Spitz. It's one of the best gyros I've ever had (nothing beats Windy City Gyros in Chicago), but topped with feta, cucumbers, lettuce, tomatoes, and a spicy chili sauce. It's one of my most craved meals, and I'm glad their locations aren't close to where I live or I'd be going there weekly, at least.